I give up

Uncle. Mercy. Stick a fork in me, I'm done.

I don't do 9 months pregnant very well. Why on earth women would voluntarily do this over and over again is beyond me. Yeah, yeah, you get a sweet blessing from God, it's only temporary, and all that jazz, but seriously Michelle Duggar, what crack are you smoking?? I'm a huge Duggar fan, but 19 pregnancies?? Beyond nuts.

I hate feeling helpless and not being able to jump up and handle things. I hate asking for help. I hate not being able to do laundry or take out the trash because we live on the second floor and it's all I can do to go up and down the stairs. I hate that my 2 year old has watched movies so much in the last couple of months.

But everything I do makes me have contractions. Bending over, carrying anything, standing upright too much, even laying a weird way in bed at night. I hurt most all the time, for one reason or another. Going to church this morning and lunch afterwards absolutely wore me out.

It's super frustrating.

I've got things to do, lists to cross off, lessons to plan. And I can't seem to get any of it done.

I didn't feel this way with carter until the last week or so that I was pregnant. Obviously this pregnancy is a bit different and there are some added stressors that are making it a smidge complicated, and I'm older too. So where on one hand I really really want Delaney to stay put for a few more weeks so that A)her little body is better developed, and B) she has time to flip out of a breech position, and C) I can get paid for Christmas break, I'm also ready to not be pregnant and ready to hold my girl.

The perinatologist reduced my work hours starting last week and is also having me come in weekly for non-stress tests. Basically they monitor her heart rate for a half hour to make sure there are no signs of stress from the round the clock contractions and extra fluid. My OB's response was he thought it was overkill....it took every ounce of inner strength not to serve him a knuckle sandwich for dinner. Who says crap like that to a nervous, hormonal pregnant woman??

Then there are the nightmares. Oh good geez, pregnancy dreams make a bad acid trip look like a walk in the park. Not that I know what that's like. Some of them involve actually things I am nervous about, mostly in regards to labor and delivery, but the rest are just totally whack.

So hopefully my reduced work hours will help give my worn out body the rest it needs to keep the Diva put for at least 3 more weeks. I'm so grateful that she has held off this long, despite all the times I thought she was coming early. I can't possibly imagine having to leave my baby in the hospital after I was released. Which has been the subject of a couple of my nightmares. Carter has been asking lately about baby Laney coming out of mommy's tummy...wish I had an answer for ya dude!!


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