How we planned a wedding in 36 hours

I guess I should start at why we rushed a wedding. Thursday November 10th I got a phone call at school from my aunt telling me that the doctor had given my dad the very news we were dreading to hear: the chemo wasn't working anymore, and nothing else was going to work. He was in the middle of treatment and his numbers had not been moving, which scared the crap out of us, but we had tried to remain positive. So on that Thursday, we (meaning like 15-18 of my immediately family members) gathered around my dad's bed and got the full story from the nurse. We were talking about days remaining with Daddy, as the leukemia would quickly shut down his body. I have never been so devastated in my life. I felt like someone had ripped my heart out. She told us the 3 "options" that we had, with none of them being daddy living at the end of them, and we let dad decide what he wanted to do. He chose to finish the next 2 days of chemo (apparently protocol to complete it more than anything) and then he wanted to leave the hospital. It was decided that we would take him to my aunt and uncle's house, as my parents house is not set up for mass people to come and go, and for hospice to set up easily.

Just before the nurse left dad's room, she was hugging my mom(they had developed a friendship over these months with many nurses) and my mom said something to her about how dad had so been looking forward to walking me down the aisle. That got her wheels turning and between her and the social worker helping us with hospice, they started scheming. Also, Christiaan had been going around to several family members telling them that we had decided just the weekend before that should something happen to Dad, we would have Shane marry us just so that Dad could be a part of it and give me away. Thus the wheels began rolling. I spent some time just being with Dad, and by the time I went out of his room, Brianna was calling me saying "11:00n on Saturday." Umm ok I'm a little busy, what is then? Your wedding, she says. And then I get a text from Brooke saying she would be there at 3 the next day to take me dress shopping. A little while later Kasi called to tell me she got someone to take pictures, and then later had a lady volunteer to do my hair and makeup. Seriously?? People are just planning our wedding, without us even worrying about anything. We decided with Mom that it would be in the courtyard of the hospital, where there was a nice fountain.

Around 8:00, Christiaan and I left and drove 90 mph to Firewheel. We walked into James Avery, picked out 2 wedding bands, and left. Drove around the corner to Men's Wearhouse, picked out a shirt and tie, then realized it would be $130 for both, so just decided on the tie. When we were checking out, the salesman told us that Christiaan had a $50 credit from previous purchases. We couldn't resist the shirt at the point. By the time we got back into the car it was 8:40.

The next morning Mom called and said that Dad was not doing so well and she wasn't sure he would have the strength to do any sort of wedding. Although I would have been totally ok with just having Shane marry us in the hospital room, I began to pray for God to just give us the next 24 hours. Just let us have this one last special time with my Daddy. I spent the whole day begging God to give us that. Mom also told me that the nurse and social worker wanted to talk to me at some point that day, because they had gotten someone to bake a cake and arranged for the florist in the lobby to make a bouquet and boutenniers. Christiaan's mom came into town, and we went up to the hospital. It was so strange, talking about wedding plans one minute, and then talking to Dad about arrangements for his last days and after that. My emotions were all over the place.

Brooke came and picked me up Friday afternoon, and we headed to Firewheel again. We went to the Black and White store, told a saleslady what we were looking for, and she said they really only had one solid white or cream dress. She held it up and Brooke and I just looked in awe at each other. It was beyond perfect. Except, that it was a size 4, and I am not anymore. It was literally the only one in the store because it was an online exclusive, but had been returned by someone to the store. They convinced me to try it on anyways. By some miracle of God, it actually fit, was just a little snug in the hip area. Nothing a pair of Spanx couldn't fix.

In the next hour and a half or so, we managed to also find Carter a suit (half price even), and a pair of shoes that had a matching ruffle to the dress. We were both blown away, as in the 11+ years we have been shopping together, we had never found exactly what we were looking for so easily. That allowed us to then have a nice visit over dinner and a couple drinks at Gloria's, joined by Aly. My bachelorette party, I guess. :)

Christiaan and I put Shane on speakerphone and had our wedding rehearsal. We went over the few details of what would be said, and I left Carter to spend the night with Christiaan and his mom and headed home. I made a quick CD with a few songs to use during the ceremony and went to bed. My alarm was set for 6:30, but I woke up in excitement earlier than that. I met some of my girls at Bri's at 8 to get my hair and make-up done. A wonderfully gifted lady that does hair and make-up for weddings had heard about our story from Jo, the lady who volunteered to take pictures, and had volunteered to do my hair and make-up. Seriously, where did all these people come from?? As soon as she was done I headed to the hospital.

Dad wanted to see me before the wedding. We shared a sweet conversation with my brothers, and Dad gave me the necklace and earrings he had sent mom to buy for me the day before. The nurse and social worker had arranged for us to use the cancer resource center in the lobby for me to get dressed in and to hold a small reception. I got dressed, and watched in amazement as various friends and family members began showing up.

I am just not even sure that I possess words in my vocabulary to accurately describe the ceremony. It was heart wrenching but sweet, happy and sad, simple and intimate. Although it was a ceremony in which Christiaan commited our lives to each other, it was so much just about my dad and I having the perfect moment that every little girl envisions.

I had found a version of "Can't Help Falling in Love" by Ingrid Michaelson, which played as we came out into the courtyard. My daddy sang this to my momma at their wedding. I never expected there to be anyone else walking me down the aisle except my dad, but he was in a wheelchair so Mom pushed him, and as the last remaining drops of chemo he would ever get were still running, his nurses dealt with the IV pole behind us. About 40 of our family members and closest friends, along with a few nurses, the social worker, and even the hospital chaplain, had gathered outside to witness the ceremony.

It was short, and I don't know that I could imagine anything more perfect. It was everything it should be, and nothing I ever expected, at the same time.

Inside at the cancer resource center we cut the cake, and discovered that the catering department had brought a fruit and cheese tray and some cookies. My aunt Shannon had brought sparkling apple cider in place of champagne. Brooke had somehow managed in a few hours to make the thumbprint guest book and a decorative "R". We visited, took an obscene amount of pictures, and enjoyed the delicious cake. Once the party died down, Christiaan and I made a requested appearance back up on Dad's floor, and then headed out for our special evening. Our sweet friends had gotten us a gift card to Gloria's and a night at the Hotel Intercontinental!!

I am still trying to wrap my head around this whole experience. I cannot believe how incredibly blessed we were to have people plan this special time for us. Not only did it fulfill my dreams of my daddy walking me down the aisle, but it made me truly realize how amazing my friends and family are. I do not know what I have done in my life to be deserving of such kindness from people. I don't think I could ever repay them for all they did for us. Thank you is just not even enough, but thank you to everyone who made this incredible day possible!